Happy Fathers Day 2019 funny jokes

Want to give your dad something funny for Father’s Day? Why not tell him a joke. Dad holds a special place in our hearts, and on Father’s Day, he deserves the best! Pass our funniest fatherhood submissions on to a dad in your life and share the priceless gift of laughter. Here are some funny jokes that you can tell to your Father on this Fathers Day and make him laugh.

 

Happy Fathers Day Wishes Funny 2019 Best Jokes in English Spanish 

  • Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
    Voice: This is my father.
  • Johnny’s father: Let me see your report card.
    Johnny: I don’t have it.
    Johnny’s father: Why not?
    Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
  • Jon: What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
    Tom: What?
    Jon: One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.
  • “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”“Oh, nothing,” the boy said.  “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
  • A small boy was at the zoo with his father.  They were looking at the tigers, and his father was telling him how ferocious they were.“Daddy, if the tigers got out and ate you up…”“Yes, son?” the father asked, ready to console him.“ …Which bus would I take home?”
  • Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?
    Science student: When my father sees my report card
  • Joe: What does your father do for a living?
    Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
    Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
    Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

Happy Fathers Day Wishes 2019 Funny Wishes 

  • Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.”“That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!”A nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!”“That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!”A nurse tells the third man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets!”“That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!”

    The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask.

    “I work for 7 Up!”

  • Son: For $20, I’ll be good.
    Dad: Oh, yeah?  When I was your age, I was good for nothing
  • Pee Wee: What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?
    Westy: Beats me.
    Pee Wee: A POPsicle!
  • Pee Wee: How is the baby bird like its dad?
    Westy: How?
    Pee Wee: It’s a chirp off the old block.
  • Dad: How do you like fourth grade?
    Son: It isn’t much fun.
    Dad: That’s too bad. It was the best three years of my life!
  • Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
    Dad: No.
    Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!
  • Tim: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.
    Sam: Really? I bet they don’t fit.
  • Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.
    Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!
  • Dan: I made a bad mistake today and gave my dad some soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.
    Jan: Was he mad?
    Dan: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth!
  • Manny: How do you like the drum set you got for your birthday?
    Theo: I love it!
    Manny: Why?
    Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!
  • Sam: How do you like the drum set you got for your birthday?
    Bruce: I love it!
    Sam: Why?
    Bruce: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!
  • Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.
    Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!
  • “I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.” So he went out and bought a present for my mother.”

Happy Fathers Day 2019 Short Essay’s in English 

here are 10  Happy Fathers Day 2019 Short Essay’s in English for kids

Happy Fathers Day 2019 Short Essay’s in English 

1.  My Superman

 My dad is not a superhero to the world, but he’s the superman in my family.
My father is more than special; he’s a one in a million dad. Every day he works hard to keep me happy and safe. When I look at my dad each day I see the man I want to be. That’s what makes him extra special to me.
He is important; his love for me is like what oxygen is to live. There is nothing too big he wouldn’t do, no sacrifice too huge that he wouldn’t make. I think of this all more than makes him great.
I follow him around all the time, hoping to learn all I can from him. I love how patient he is with me, even when things get technical he finds a way to make me learn it is the simplest way. I love doing things with him, like going to baseball together, the park, choir practice and most of all listening to him read to me before I fall asleep.
Sometimes I think he is an angel sent from God just for me, I love my dad and I know he loves me too. I wish everyone would experience a bond like this, I love you daddy and you are the best.

2.  What my Dad means to me

 My dad is the reason I try to do well in class. He inspires me to want to do my work, he tells me what’s right from wrong and he scolds me when I am wrong.
At nights, we play cards while my mom’s asleep and he’s the one that tucks me in. Before he does we lay down in my bed and I put my head on his chest and we watch “Jessie” until I fall asleep.
My dad has an interesting job. He works as a photographer on one of Captain Marvin’s boats named “The Tortuga”. He works with Captain Chris. He takes pictures of tourists holding or kissing stingrays at Stingray City. I like his job because I sometimes go with him to learn how to snorkel and I make new friends too.
My daddy is the one that cooks my breakfast, lunch and dinner all the time. My favorite dish is the Chicken Alfredo Pasta. He is an excellent cook. Maybe he should have been a chef instead.
My mom has a video of my birth and I was given a chance to watch it. From that moment when I saw the look on my dad’s face, I knew that he fell in love with me. He was the first person I smiled with and I knew that he was my superhero.
3. My amazing Father
 My life is full of joy and laughter when he is around; he treats me like a princess. Another man like him can never be found. He is special, there is no doubt.
My father is my friend and my confidant. I can share everything with him without a tear. We have a special bond and I thank God every day for making him the person he is.
Even though my daddy is the most hard working man I know that’s not what makes him most important. He is important to me because he makes time to keep his family happy and feeling loved. My father has all the qualities for a great dad. Even though he is my friend, he keeps me in line all the time.
I love my daddy; I wish to find a husband just like him when I grow up, a man with virtue, honesty, who’s loving, kind and true. My father, he’s my hero; he is my role model for life.

4. He made a lot of sacrifices:

He had made a lot of sacrifices for her sake and she saw him as a brave, selfless, and affectionate man. Wanting to let her father know how special he was to her, she organized a tribute for her father on June 19, 1910, in Spokane, Washington. Her father was born in June.After many years, Father’s Day became an official holiday. Actually many people were amused by the idea of a Father’s Day though they seemed to have no issue with Mother’s Day. It was even a target of sarcasm, satire and parody.Local newspapers made fun of it. It might even have disappeared from the national calendar. A Bill was passed in 1913, recognizing the day. Finally in 1924, President Calvin announced that the third Sunday in June would be celebrated as Father’s Day. People buy roses on Father’s Day, a red one for fathers who are alive and a white one for deceased fathers. Though such days are largely symbolic, many people who have received much affection and support from their parents are enthusiastic about celebrating such days. Like Mother’s Day it has also become much commercialized.

5.  Dad means the world to me

My daddy, Mark Roubik, has given me a lot of advice. He taught me to give it my all whether it’s in sports, school, religion, or life itself. My dad is the best dad ever! He is so goofy and always makes me smile ear to ear.

My dad is always there for me and lifts my spirits. He continually manages to keep family before work. He is always sitting on the bleachers cheering me on and will tell me I am doing great, even if I am just sitting on the bench. He is always at the finish line waiting for me to get done. I know once I get to the finish line you will be there cheering and ready to give me a huge hug.

Dad, I just want you to know you mean the world to me. I am lucky to have such a wonderful dad. Happy Father’s Day to my Grandpa Jack and of course to you, too, Dad.

Love you so much.

6.Dad taught me to be considerate

My father, Roy Fluekiger, just recently passed away so the advice he had given me means more to me now than ever. My dad was not an overly-educated man but knew more about life and living than any one I know.

One of the most memorable things that he taught me was to be considerate above all else. My dad and my mom both taught all of us kids to “treat others as you would like to be treated.” These are words to live by every day.

I love you and miss you Dad.

7. Now it’s a habit my children have as well

It all makes perfect sense now.

Growing up in the ‘50s and ‘60s, I just wanted to be me. Dad (Gene Foster of La Crosse) would always say, “Good … be you, but be proud of it and make an impression.”

Wherever we would walk, between him saying “good morning” or “hello” to what seemed like everybody, he would tell me in his best military voice, to “get my hands out of my pockets, shoulders back, chin up, quit looking at the ground, make eye contact and acknowledge everybody in some way.”

Now, it’s a habit … one that, fortunately, all of my children have as well.

8. Dad taught me to do what’s right

My dad, Glen Brunner (Feb. 3, 1912 to Jan. 13, 2006), was a remarkable man. He farmed, owned property, worked for the town of Ridgeville operating heavy machinery, and operated a used car business with a dear friend of his that continued well into his retirement years.

He was involved in many different things, all with the highest level of an eighth-grade education. He worked hard but he also knew to play hard. We always had a lot of fun together and he never let me forget to do what was right. His famous words were “Keep your nose clean!”

In a sense, what he was saying was work hard, keep your faith, stay out of trouble, have fun but always remember to do what is right. Dad, you did all of this. Without you and Mom, I wouldn’t be where I am at today.

With heart-warming love, respect and gratitude love you so much dad.

9. Don’t cry over spilled chocolate milk

My dad, Don Welch of La Crosse, always told us to “buy American,” which he still stands by firmly to this day, though it is harder to do.

He also advised the five of us Welch kids to “not cry over spilled chocolate milk,” when the milk carton tipped over into our cast iron skillet of scrambled eggs on a Black River boating camp-out. He said we had possibly invented a great new recipe that would become famous someday. Well, that didn’t happen, but to us, Dad is the Made In America glue that holds our family together.

10.  Slow down, take time to relax

I learned a lot from my dad. The most important thing I didn’t understand until later.

He said “Never eat a meal while standing over the sink.” He meant slow down, take time to think. Relax, even if it’s for just a few minutes. Since you have to eat, you might as well enjoy it.

I still hear him every day. “Sit down, buddy. This is gonna be a great meal.”

My sons get it now, too. Be a gentleman, treat people right, and enjoy a good meal, even if it’s a quick meal, while sitting at the table.

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